Courtesy and Social Relationships - How to master the art of courtesy.

Ever found yourself in a tensive situation where you are so clueless on how to give the appropriate response to either a question or to express formal greetings and gestures? Then this article is for you.

In today's world where science, technology and the arts has really advanced when compared to the 50's and 60's, courtesy will definitely come in handy while dealing with a prospective client, or just some stranger down the street or in your office/workplace.

Unfortunately, courtesy is an art that so many have not yet mastered. It is an important ability in today's society. You can lose a job because of bad courtesy and you can as well win a job contract because of good courtesy.

There are various ways through which you can improve your courtesy ability, but these cannot be applied without proper understanding of what courtesy is. Merriam Webster Dictionary defines courtesy as  behavior marked by polished manners or respect for others : courteous behavior. And the Oxford English defines it as the showing of politeness in one's attitude and behaviour towards others

Let us analyze these two conversations:

#1

Mr. Kent: Hello, John.

John: Hey! Howdy?

Mr. Kent: Uh, I saw this shoe ad and decided to come check it out.

John: Nice! This one goes for 50box, we don't have this blue color yet. The other one goes for 70box. Which one do you want?

Mr. Kent: Really? Your ad says blue is available, how come?

John: Errm.. It was so that..

Mr. Kent: I'm not interested anymore.

John: Okay. Won't you wait till we get a new stock?

Mr. Kent: No, thanks.

John: Thank you.

#2

Mr. Kent: Hello, John

John: Hello? What can I offer you?

Mr. Kent: I saw this shoe ad and I decided to come check it out.

John: Oh, great! So, Sir, which of the shoes do you want to buy or should I show you the whole lot and maybe we can make a decision together?

Mr. Kent: That'd be great but I actually came for the blue one.

John: Oh I see. But Sir I have a little problem here, the blue ran out of stock earlier and I'm hoping to get some extra stock by noon. Would you want to explore other options or opt in for a delivery once it arrives?

Mr. Kent: You run a deliveries too? 

John: Yes I run deliveries too! Just fill this form with your details and I'll mail them to you once they arrive.

Mr. Kent: Thank you!

John: It's a pleasure serving you!

From these two conversations, one would clearly determine the conversation with good courtesy and this also shows the great loss one can encounter due to bad courtesy. Another case scenario could be a job interview; bad courtesy could ruin your chances of securing that job. 

From these you can see how important it is to have good courtesy skills whether you're a teacher or a student or a marketer or a job hunter.

Ways to improve on your courtesy:

There are various ways you can improve on your courtesy; practical ways which with time would give you great results.

#1 Sorry: In case something goes wrong in a course of conversation or engagement, do not say "we're sorry" or just "sorry" but instead say "I am sorry". This boosts the recipients receipt of the apology because now you've made it more personal.

#2 Please: Never forget to say please when asking for an information, otherwise, you may sound really rude and spoil any previously built up rapport.

#3 Thank you: Common sense requires that you say thank you each time something has been handed over to you, say information, payment, etc.

#4 You're welcome: This is an acknowledgement statement and is basically required when gratitude has been expressed.

#5 Right away: This statement with the appropriate sentence gives a subconscious note that the request has been processed immediately.

#6 I'm currently: This gives the recipient/customer a real-time knowledge of what's happening as their request is being processed; like a step-by-step guide into what you're doing at the moment and also prevents unnecessary silence during the course of action.

#7 You can easily establish a basis of trust using "I will". It comes with an assurance that their request would be carried out.

#8 Pardon me is a good reflex phrase when a small part of the conversation has been missed. But when a large amount of information have been lost "forgive me" is more appropriate.

For example, it can be used in this way: "Forgive me, I didn't catch your email address. Could you repeat it for me please?

#9 Practice: Practice what you've learnt so far. Find out ways to sound really courteous and interesting at the same time. Instead of just a "howdy", say "How do you do". 

One important thing to note in courtesy is to avoid short form of words; use the original form of such words or sentences and personalize certain words like the "I" instead of the usual systematic "we". Psychological connection in courtesy makes it all interesting and beautiful.